It has been an extremely busy week at work and I have had little time to blog, hence, no entries this week. Even during break I’ve been busy and haven’t been able to tend to writing. I’d like to reflect on last weekend and my trip to Philly. I’d also like to talk about wedding stuff and some good news in that department, along with other general stuff.

Weekend in Philly. We had a great trip overall. Lots of laughs, lots of fun. I picked up Danny and Moe on Friday afternoon and we made our way up to Manchester Airport. We got there with plenty of time to eat and get a brew, which we richly enjoyed (Danny got a Bass and Moe and I got a Smuttynose Brown Dog). We were longing to have some time either Saturday or Sunday to kick back with a brew and a stoagie and talk about church issues. We did not get that opportunity. We got to the Philly area pretty late, around 9 PM, and spent a few hours getting to know our hosts, the Doyles. They are a great family and we really hit it off. We tried to feel them out whether Mr. Doyle would have a brew with us, but we weren’t feeling it. So we settled with the fact that we would not have that kind of fun this weekend. Sidebar: On the plane ride out there, Danny sat with me and we talked about Justification and the “New Perspective” on Paul. It seems like every time we talk about these issues, Danny says the same thing he said the last time and he asks me the same questions. I wonder if he continues to do this because he thinks I’m not understanding him, or because he just forgets. I think its the former, that’s what I’m concerned about. My biggest contention is that no one out there really understands what Ancient Near Covenants consisted and how that provides the context for covenant in the New Testament. End Sidebar. So went to bed around 12:20, but Danny and I were in the same room. We weren’t sure if that would ever happen again so we stayed up till about 4:00 AM talking about all sorts of stuff from church polity to parenting. As Danny would say, “It was a good hang”. Made me think a lot. Saturday roled around quickly and we headed off to Covenant Fellowship Church where the ministry summons was being held. My only contention with the whole thing is that everybody seems so cookie-cutter Sovereign Grace Ministries that it makes me sick. I love SGM, but it seems like they keep producing guys with the same personality and theology. Talking on the way back, I was telling Danny that I feel like such a rogue and that there seems to be no place for me out there in ministry. What do you do with a Reformed, baptistic, complimentarian, hedonistic, humanistic, integrational worshipper who loves biblical theology, rock n roll, beer, pipes, cigars, movies, and girls with noserings? Danny was pretty sympathetic and encouraging. More later, my break is almost over and the phones are red.

Since Monday, it’s been a pretty decent week. I’ve been fighting a pretty persistant illness of some sort. Sometimes I think it is a fever, because I get achy. Sometimes I think it is a virus, because I came close to losing my lunch. And sometimes I think it is just a head cold, because I have been sneezing, but I have never been stuffed up. I attribute this to my secret weapon of 64 oz. of Gatorade before adjorn for the night. It makes ya piss like hell, but it keeps your body replenished and hydrated while you sleep. It’s all about electolytes. I think this is the reseaon why I haven’t gotten my ass kicked but have had only a symptom here and there.

Lovin life why my girl. She had been such flower this week, yeah, a tulip. She’s done the grunt of her semester and will be home in about a week. CANNOT WAIT!!!! It seems like every thicke converstation we have, it is followed up by nirvana. We are talking about Ph.D. work in Australia again, and some of our options around this. She’s seems blissful either way we go. YESSS. She really seems like she is not at all worried about waiting to continue her education, but has a real faith in God that He will work out the details.

Greatly anticipating this weekend. I leave tomorrow with some guys from my church to go to Philly for a summons about ministry. Danny, Moe, and myself (Curly) will be the three stooges staying at one place. Do these people know what they are inviting into their house? I’ll keep everybody up all night, Danny will be hugging everybody, and Moe won’t let anyone get a word in edgewise. At least that’s what Danny thinks.

Oh, yea, almost forgot. My supervisor read the blog. Be careful who you tell and be careful what you say. Fortunately, she was a real good sport about it and didn’t take it personally. In fact, she said it kind of made her laugh. Phew.

My friend Becca just recently got kicked in the ass by God, I feel like today He kicked me in the balls. My day opened with a 2 and 1/2 hour call to my girl beginning around 7 AM. I had no intentions of stirring up any mud about her educational situation, but I had been up since 4:30 laying in bed thinking about how next year will work out. I had been thinking through staying at Gordon-Conwell next year and doing a Th.M. We could live in the apartment I live in currently so we wouldn’t need to find a place to stay, and it would open more opportunities for study. I’d already have a job and there is a Discovery Channel store locally she could transfer to. One hang-up is that this would delay her degree completion for about a year. God knows I thought about how to prevent that in this scheme. So, I wake her up, and begin to explain what I’ve been thinking as a possible option for next year. I could feel her stomach turn as I began. She feels that this plan would add to the probability that she would never get her degree. And thus I hit The Wall, and the shit hit the fan. Why the hell do I get into these conversations? Can I just relax and let things work out? No, I’ve got to go and throw another brick on the wall. I feel that my life is putting an end to hers. I wonder if she is either not cut out to be married, or just is not ready to get married. I can’t understand why she has to define herself by archaeology (although she would not admit that) and the culture around it. Why must she measure her own worth by the field? “The worth and excellency of a soul is to be measured by the object of its love” (Henry Scougal). Why can’t she see the glory of marriage and the honor of motherhood? Honestly, I don’t care if I am a gas station attendant, but I’ll be damned if I take likely fathering children and tending to the home. I can’t wait to be a father, to stare into the eyes of my own flesh and see the soul that God created through me and my wife, to gaze for hours at them when they sleep and study every crevice of their face, to play with them for hours and try like hell to make them laugh, to hear them begin to talk in their own gibberish and try to decipher what they are saying, to teach them how to talk and teach them how to reason, to show them God and share the story of redemption, and to be their friend and mentor, treating them with grace and love. And I wonder if she has any idea how much I love her; how much I want to see her every moment of the day; how much I want to hold her and know everything about her; how much care and kindess that God has been storing up in my heart for my most beloved person; how much I would forfeit for her-my books, my shelter, my clothing, my learning, my sanity, my senses, my organs, my soul and salvation; how much I never want to see her hurt or suffer; or how much I will give up my personal identity to be one with her. Every time we talk about this, it makes me re-evalute whether God wants her with me or not. Sometimes I convince myself that she will never want to give up her life for me the what I will for her; joyfully, willingly, savoring our union. She doesn’t understand that I will leave all my friends, burn my degrees, leave my family, my church to be with her. Sometimes I think that the world has convinced her that she will never be significant unless she establishes herself and there is nothing I can do about it. Why is her soul coiled around this dream she has always had? Has God given it to her? Is this her calling? Is she in love with the idea of marrying me, loving me, or does she love me? I can’t stand the thought of her putting up with evangelical notions she does not understand or agree with. I can’t believe she passed right over the biblical/theological foundations for complementarianism to get to all the “pertinent” stuff in RBMW. She hates the idea of being a standard evangelical wife, as though they are brainless and insignificant. I just can’t believe sometime this is all coming from someone homeschooled (and wanting to homeschool mind you) and has the typical TV show mom who happens to the most significant female in her life. It’s just plain weird. And she wears a head covering to church. What? God help her understand when she reads this, I’m being raw and open. This is the sleeve on which I am wearing my heart that beats for her.

I came to work today…wait, let’s back up. I was up till 7:30 AM talking to my girl and doing internet stuff and I was late to work by a few minutes. That upset me to begin with. When I got there, a supervisor was handing out some of the newspaper inserts we are using to market for the next two weeks. When I saw the insert, I made the comment, “Where going to getted slammed!” in somewhat of a overwhelmed tone. She replied, “What’s wrong with that?” I said, “Well, it’s good for the company, I guess.” To which said in a very condescending way, “You haven’t been here long enough” as though she wanted to squelch any shrill of talk about our business for the holiday season. I said nothing in response for fear that I would get myself fired. But my blood began to boil and I started to think about either how I could make some off-handed comment to her to make her feel bad. So as I am thinking of all the mean things I can either say or email, I started to think about how I am going to blog this. So I decided to take stock of some of the good things about my work and some of the bad.

What I like:

Good people, lots of friends
Excellent prices, great for library building
General schedule flexibility
Company is generally on your side as an employee
Can wear pretty much whatever you want
When its not busy you can do other things, like read or talk to others
Good training and everybody is good at helping each other
It is enjoyable to really help people out and give them a smile
We sell things that propagate the gospel and the glory of God (at least with some things)
I get a chance to recommend all my favorite books at one time or another
I can listen to music from time to time
My evangelicalness is a asset not a hindrance to the company
Generally pleasant clientel
It’s not too far from school
I get to keep up with what’s going on in pop Christian culture and in academic biblical studies
My education is actually of some use
Fringe benefits of coffee, tea, hot chocolate, and spring water offered for free and discounted prices on items in vending machines
Food is abundant and is offered handed off when their is too much for one team in the office, there are lots of goodies that float around too

This will be followed by a later blog of what I hate, because I am about to leave work now.