If you twist and turn away.
If you tear yourself in two again.
If I could, yes I would
If I could, I would let it go.
Surrender, dislocate.

If I could throw this lifeless life-line to the wind.
Leave this heart of clay, see you walk, walk away
Into the night, and through the rain
Into the half light and through the flame.

If I could, through myself, set your spirit free
I’d lead your heart away, see you break, break away
Into the light and to the day.

To let it go and so to find away.
To let it go and so find away.
I’m wide awake.
I’m wide awake, wide awake.
I’m not sleeping.

If you should ask, then maybe
They’d tell you what I would say
True colours fly in blue and black
Blue silken sky and burning flag.
Colours crash, collide in blood-shot eyes.

If I could, you know I would
If I could, I would let it go.

This desperation, dislocation
Separation, condemnation
Revelation, in temptation
Isolation, desolation
Let it go and so to find away
To let it go and so to find away
To let it go and so to find away

I’m wide awake, I’m wide awake, wide awake
I’m not sleeping
Oh no, no, no.

Lyrics by U2

I know it is widely acknowledged that this song is about Gareth Spaulding who was a friend of Bono that died because of a heroin overdose: “I wrote the words about a friend of mine, his name was Gareth Spaulding. And on his twentyfirst birthday he and his friends decided to give themselves a present of enough heroine into his veins to kill him. This song is called ‘Bad’” (comments Bono made at a show in Sweden in 1987). However, I cannot escape a simultaneous connection with the experience of the apostle Peter after he tried to protect Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. “Where in the world are you getting that?” you may ask. Well, picking up on the Judas experience in “Until the End of the World” from Achtung Baby, I thought it wouldn’t be strange for Bono to identify failings and regrets of others around Jesus, particularly those viewed positively. What really hit me was the refrain “I’m wide awake, I’m not sleeping”. At first, I began to think of the Transfiguration, where Peter, James, and John fell asleep praying (see Luke 9:30-33). But then I also thought of the other occurrence of sleeping during prayer while they were in the Garden (see Luke 22:44-46). Thus, I got the thought that perhaps “Bad” was Peter rehearsing after the fact what he would do if he could do it again. He had limited his scope on Jesus and the nature of his kingdom to the extent that in both of the events mentioned above, he ends up making suggestions that in restrospect are so bone-headed both of which are intended to keep Jesus around rather than let him go. Anyway, that seemed to fit with the verbage of the song, particularly the fact that he was now “wide awake”. Perhaps I’m wacked out, but Bono is accustomed to weaving different layers into his lyrics so I personally wouldn’t put it past him. I also wouldn’t bank on it. But, whatever.